How To Create Instant Rapport with Anyone
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Title: How To Create Instant Rapport with Anyone
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Author: Danek Kaus
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How To Create Instant Rapport with Anyone
Copyright 2005 Danek Kaus
By Danek S. Kaus and David R. Barron
What is Rapport and why is it so important? Rapport is the
foundation of persuasion. It is probably the most powerful
persuasion tool you can have in any setting.
With rapport everything is possible. Without it, nothing
is possible.
We’ve all had an experience of interacting with someone
where there is an immediate sense of liking each other. It
is easier to like someone when you have rapport, but liking
someone is not the same thing as rapport. In fact you can
create rapport with someone you don’t like. Nor is it
necessary for them to like you in order to create rapport.
Rapport is not so much liking as it is responsiveness.
You’ve probably interacted with people who’ve been
aggressive, and you responded aggressively. The two of you
go back and forth in a dance of hostility. Believe it or
not, that is a form of rapport, but probably not the kind
you’re looking for.
You may have heard the phrase, “People like people who are
like themselves.” It is easier to have rapport with
someone who may share such similarities as culture,
education, height and hair color. But what happens when
people from different cultures with different hair color
interact?
How to you develop rapport with someone who is very
different from you? You become like that person on much
subtler levels. Rapport is created by some of the things
you do, by what you say and how you say it.
Rapport can allow you to interact so effectively with
someone that you become friends in a very short time. If
that is what you are seeking, great. However, if you are
trying to make a sale, you may get so distracted talking
about other things that you forget the reason for your
visit and walk out empty handed. So remember your reason
for creating rapport in the first place.
INSTANT RAPPORT
Now it’s time to learn some specific techniques that can
help you create rapport with just about anyone in a matter
of seconds. Two of the most basic and easiest to master
are Mirroring and Matching.
MIRRORING
Mirroring is doing the same types of body behaviors as
someone else as though you are looking at yourself in a
mirror. When you are facing someone, if they cross their
left leg, you cross your right leg, in effect creating a
mirror image of their body position. If the person you are
with leans to the right in their chair, you lean to your
left, again creating a mirror image.
WARNING: Do not mirror someone immediately. Wait three to
five seconds and then gradually move. If you mirror
someone immediately, she will think you are mimicking her
and become offended. If you adjust your body gradually, she
will not notice what you are doing,. But you have to
mirror her exactly.
MATCHING
Matching is doing the same thing that somebody else is
doing with their body. If he crosses his left leg, you
cross your left leg, and so on, after waiting three to five
seconds.
Some of you may not feel comfortable mirroring and matching
another person. Too bad.
It is not how comfortable you feel that matters but how
comfortable you make the other person feel. If you are not
willing to feel uncomfortable, consider the unspoken
message of not being willing to mirror and match: “I am
only willing to be with you just so much, I am not
comfortable enough with you to give up myself.”
Ask yourself this question: Do I want to be someone that
other people feel comfortable around? If the answer is
yes, then start mirroring and matching.
The results will amaze you.
NEXT TIME: Rapport and the Magic of VAK
Adapted from the new book, “Power Persuasion: Using
Hypnotic Influence in Life, Love and Business,” by David R.
Barron and Danek S. Kaus.
About the Author:
David R. Barron and Danek S. Kaus are the authors of “Power
Persuasion: Using Hypnotic Influence to Win in Life, Love
and Business.” To learn more visit
www.power-persuasion.com/book
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