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Tuesday, March 30, 2004

ask what you can do for atkins

i've been overweight all of my adult life. actually going by the medical charts, i'm borderlining on obese. the extra 30 pounds i carry have been with me through thick and thin, so to speak. i fanatically jog every other day, some hiking and swimming in between, but the weight is stuck on me like glue.

i'd like to shake the extra weight off, but the best i could ever manage has been about 5 measly pounds, and the only reason i know that is because every time i go to see my doctor, i have to get on the scale in the office. it's like a border guard strategically positioned right before i enter the examination room. the results are always the same. here's the prescription for your ailment, and by the way, you should lose some weight.

so do i go home and redouble my efforts to exercise more, eat less, and weigh myself everyday? yeah right. life's too short to obsess about such trifles. i eat lots of fruits and vegetables, not because they are good for my health, but because i enjoy them in between my high fat and high carb diet. so i get 5 fewer years to live. what's an extra 5 years or even 15 years relative to the age of the universe? not even close to the proverbial blink of an eye. why suffer a lifetime of deprivation for a few extra years? let me die fat and happy.

so what can atkins do for me? nothing. what can i do for atkins? also nothing. sounds like a fair deal to me.
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