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Politics of SQL Left Join and Right Join

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Politics of SQLThe other day I was helping a colleague with an SQL statement and I noticed he had a left join in his query. For those of you unfamiliar with SQL, it is a query language programmers use to access and manipulate data inside databases. Joins are used to cross-reference data between various database tables.

With the mid-term elections around the corner there is quite a bit of usage of words like right, left, liberal, and conservative around the nation, so seeing the left join in the query invoked thoughts of politics in my head. My colleague is a conservative, and I am firmly to the left of the center, but not quite off the cliff. We sometimes engage in political debates, and as all debates go have never convinced each other of the other person's persuasions.

Anyways, I scolded him for betraying his party by using a left join in his SQL statement. And then I thought to myself what a perfect way to resist the right-wing agenda.

So, no matter what your platform (as in your database platform), Oracle, SQL Server, MySQL, DB2, Sybase, or even Access, on November 7th boycott right joins and only use left joins. Then vote Democrat. You can do it. Right joins are useless anyways while left joins are so much more intuitive. They just make more sense.

Yeah, let's write a petition to ANSI and all database vendors and demand an end to the right join absurdity. Together we can send right join to the ash heap of query history. Obsolescence and deprecation is the right join's destiny.

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